Deciding to get a divorce is no easy decision. When you have children to consider, it can make that decision even more challenging. You might think that waiting until the kids turn 18 to divorce is the best option. Or maybe you and your partner would rather end things sooner while the kids are still young. Whatever decision you make will depend on what is best for you and your family.
What Age Do Kids Suffer Most From Divorce?
Divorce affects any child at any age, whether they’re 27 or 2. But research indicates children suffer most from divorce when they are between the ages of 6 and 12. Elementary-aged children can feel the effects of their parents’ divorce more because they’re at an age where they can understand more complex topics, like divorce, but still hold on to the good memories. Children at this age may often wonder about their role in the divorce and if they’re to blame.
Should I Wait Until Kids Are 18 To Divorce?
Whether you wait until your kids are 18 to divorce depends on your relationship with your spouse, your ability to maintain a peaceful household, and your happiness. If you and your spouse feel that you can wait until your kids are older to divorce, that might be the better option. Still, waiting until your kids are 18 doesn’t guarantee that they’ll handle a divorce any better. If you’re unhappy, it might be time to leave and do your best to co-parent responsibly with your ex.
Is it Better To Stay Together For A Child?
Staying together may be better for a child if you can avoid showing your child how strained your relationship is. On the other hand, staying together may not be a good decision if your relationship is violent or highly volatile. There is also evidence that a child may struggle to reach success as an adult if they are raised in homes with frequent conflict.
Is Divorce Better Than An Unhappy Marriage?
The answer to this question depends on your specific relationship. If you feel like you’re only going through a rough patch, it might be worth it to stick it out. Some studies suggest that people in unhappy marriages found themselves much happier years later after deciding to stick it out. Still, toxic or abusive relationships that bring out your worst may not be not worth fighting for. Here are some reasons why divorce might be better than an unhappy marriage:
- You can focus onbettering yourself and your wellness.
- Your toxic behaviors might disappear.
- Your children could be happier, especially if they’ve been present for a lot of fighting.
- You could be happier.
- It gives you the chance to meet a new partner who can better meet your needs..
Affordable Mediation For Divorcing Parents
Your divorce doesn’t have to be an all-out battle. With divorce mediation, you and your partner will work as a team to plan your divorce and childcare in a rational and respectful way. Normally, couples will work witha neutral divorce mediator who helps them come to mutual decisions. Mediation offers a compassionate and fair method of approaching divorce.
At Affordable Mediation, we have over three decades of experience helping couples come to mutual decisions on their divorce. Our style is to approach divorce mediation using a counseling lens so that families emerge from a divorce better than they were before. Download our free Divorce Mediation Preparation Checklist to learn more about divorce mediation. And, if you are ready to hire a mediator, give us a call at 602-714-7447.