Spring Renewal, Blooms, and Divorce

I’m seeing more and more couples and families reframe their divorce from the negative connotations of the past to a more positive transition.  Some are committed to the friendliest divorce possible.  Others want to handle things perfectly equalized and as fair as possible.  Many voice that their divorce is a chance at renewal and hope.

A friend of mine told me today that when she informed her friends she was getting a divorce, they all responded with “I’m sorry.”  She wondered why it had to be an announcement that elicited sadness.  For her, it was a positive change that was allowing her to “move forward with my life.”  She wanted her friends to be happy for her, not pity her.

As we approach the Spring season, it seems a natural time to look forward to positive changes and growth in our lives.  What a chance to let those seeds of contemplation burst into full bloom.  (I love when metaphors work out.)

In addition to the many other changes we can make in our lives, many couples are re-evaluating their relationships and deciding on taking steps to move forward in more healthy and productive ways.  If those decisions lead to divorce, why can’t that be done in a positive manner, re-defining in better ways the idea of family and self-love and self-care?  Well, as a divorce mediator, I’m seeing many couples and families choosing to do just that.

It doesn’t mean that divorce is easy or painless.  Any major transition in life is stressful and we all know change is much harder and more uncomfortable than keeping things status quo.  But, if the decision to separate has been made, it can be a “spring”board to approach life with options and anticipation:

  • New career options
    • Many people use their divorce to re-enter the workforce, go back to school or completely change careers to their dream career.  As long as your financials have been evaluated in a realistic manner, we can incorporate new dreams and ambitions into your divorce goals and planning
  • Moving to a new location
    • Some use their divorce as the time to finally make that move back home or to that city or town they have always desired to make home
  • Re-establishing friendships
    • Often people find that they have more time to focus on dormant friendships, especially those that come out of the woodwork to lend support and a compassionate ear
  • Re-focus on self-love and self-care
    • So many people use the momentum of their divorce process to finally commit to that nutrition and exercise routine or take that vacation with the “girls” or “guys” or the kids that they have been putting off.  Some take classes, just for fun, yeah, fun.

Sometimes, you need clouds to come and rain to fall before you can fully realize new blossoms.  If you and your spouse are thinking of a friendly more nurturing divorce, consider using divorce mediation to assist you both in fostering new growth in Spring and plan for the fullness of Summer.