It’s something about the clicking over from one calendar to another that seems to trigger in us a desire for change. Somehow the ringing in of a new year symbolizes hope, improvement, and opportunity for many of us. And why not? January is a great time for beginnings and transitions. We can give ourselves permission to forgive any missteps we’ve made over the past year in return for a promise to do better this year.
As you may be thinking about your own resolutions, consider not only what you would like for your life in the coming year, but specific steps in how to achieve those goals. I find that breaking tasks down into “bite size” pieces is often more manageable and less overwhelming. For example, if you are considering a big life change, such as a divorce or separation, don’t feel pressured to make any final decisions all at once. Start simply:
1. Use your support system: Talk to family and friends about your thoughts, concerns and hopes for your future.
2. Educate yourself: Gather information on your options. Use the internet; ask for information or referrals from friends; consult with a lawyer or a divorce mediator. There are many legal, financial, and personal aspects involved in the divorce process about which you should be educated before making any definitive decisions.
3. Clarify your thoughts: Be certain divorce is what you really want. Consider getting support from a therapist to help you clarify your needs and wants. If you have children, a counselor can provide guidance in how to protect their best interests regardless of what you ultimately decide.
4. Evaluate your options: Once you have gathered information and support, take some time to really evaluate the various pathways along which each of your options will lead you. Make lists of the pros and cons of each decision.
Here is an article that discusses Things to Consider When Making a Decision about Divorce.
Good luck with your resolutions and Happy New Year!